1. What was your final thesis statement? Paste, then analyze its strengths & weaknesses in a focused paragraph (considering specificity, taking a stance, narrow focus, multiple components).

My final thesis statement was, “I, however, believe Bloom’s take is much too harsh but DFW’s ideas about being more aware to those around us and making the mundane things more enjoyable are completely worth adopting in my everyday life.” I’d say it probably could be stronger in terms of explaining the stance I’m taking. We know I agree with DFW but not really why or what I’ll get into in this essay which I could’ve found a way to add into my thesis.

  1. In a separate paragraph, describe what you learned or were reminded of about your own writing process, from completing Paper #2. 

I learned that I may not add my own voice enough. I had plenty of quotes and things from Bloom and DFW however a lot of the feedback I got from this paper was that I needed to add more of my own thoughts. I think it would’ve been easier for me if I was able to make this paper a bit longer. I had so many ideas on these readings that it was kind of hard for me to corral them and figure out which were the most important and should go into my essay. Because of that I think I lost a lot of my own voice.

  1. In another paragraph: Which aspect of revision did you focus on most? What changes or adjustments made your essay stronger? Be specific. 

My revision focused mostly on trying to get rid of the word “this” or “that” and adding in my own voice. I didn’t realize how much I used vague words like “this or “that” in an essay until I went through and looked for them. I tried to get rid of them wherever I could and add more descriptive words so it’s more known what I’m talking about. As well as then going through and adding in my opinion. If I wrote something like “Bloom says….” I would then add “I think…” or something alongs those lines which I didn’t have in my rough draft.

  1. How might you approach Paper #3 differently, from pre-reading and annotating, all the way through completion of your final draft? 

I may try to organize my thoughts the same way I organzine the quotes I find. Or I could try the way Hannah writes and write my thoughts first then fine quotes and things that fit into the narrative I’ve already written. I think that’s a bit too extreme so I may just try to write out a bullet list of my thoughts and all the ones I want to include and where I may include them in my essay.