Iteration number 1 – the original
I watch the spit fly from my grandfather’s lips.
His yelling is a familiar mud in my ears.
His threat was lost a long time ago.
My Grandmother doesn’t tense in her soft pink recliner.
I won’t remember his yelling. But the look in her eyes will scare me awake at night.
I sit in the plush comfort of my Mother’s bed.
My father is slamming dishes downstairs.
He curses at them.
His violence makes me cringe against the sheets.
My Mother clenches her fists and looks to the ceiling.
I don’t ask about the fight.
My Mother says Grandma and grandpa need to divorce.
My little sister says Mom and dad need to divorce.
I wonder if my Mother promised not to be my Grandmother.
I wonder if my Grandmother promised herself the same.
I promise I won’t be like them.
Iteration number 2 – This was the poem I did for my chatbook so the above poem was also very revised but I still felt like I could do something to make it better. I changed a few words around but also played with the places of the lines in my second stanza. I felt the changes in the lines better reflected the first stanza which I wanted to show the similarities between the generations. I only ended up revising this one once.
I watch the spit fly from my grandfather’s lips.
His yelling is a familiar mud in my ears.
His threat was lost a long time ago.
My Grandmother doesn’t tense in her soft pink recliner.
I won’t remember his yelling.
But the look in her eyes will scare me awake at night.
I sit in the plush comfort of my Mother’s bed.
My father is slamming dishes downstairs.
His violence makes me cringe against the sheets.
My Mother clenches her fists and breathes through her teeth as she looks to the ceiling.
He curses the dishes.
I don’t ask about the fight.
My Mother says Grandma and grandpa need to divorce.
My little sister says Mom and dad need to divorce.
I wonder if my Mother promised not to be my Grandmother.
I wonder if my Grandmother promised herself something similar.
I promise I won’t be like them.
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